This semester I had one client and grandmother, I gained a lot
of knowledge from, specifically that trauma never goes away and that it affects
everyone deeply.  I reflect and wonder
was it something that I did wrong that caused this child to end up in an adult
jail?  Should the agency have put the
child in a more secure placement years ago, did the courts and the system fail
this kid?   I question should I have spent that day with
him doing a fun activity and let him tag along with me to Lancaster like he
wanted, that maybe he was crying out for attention but I was just too busy with
the case load the agency places on you.  Attachment
is what he was most likely looking for something he has been unable to do most
of his life.   Children want and need to
seek comfort, support, nurturance, and protection selectively from at least one
adult caregiver.  Human infants are
biologically predisposed to form attachments to caregivers.  I was an advocate for this child and took the
time to care about him and support him.

I believe that this child ran from nine placements, trusted
few adults, pushed everyone away, and committed criminal acts of harm and violence
towards others is due to developmental issues he suffered from a young
age.  The repercussions and consequences
of abuse, neglect, and placement in foster care on his early brain development
as he has been dealing with the child welfare system, since he was four years
of age.  He had so many challenges of establishing
attachment to caregivers as everyone since birth has abandoned him.  He had challenges of all aspects of the
foster care experience and moving around consistently and never having a place
to call home.  His response to stress is
something I will never know and he tells me that all the time, he always tells
me “I have no idea what it’s like to be in foster care” and “it’s not fair” and
he is right life has definitely dealt him a bad hand, something I wish I could
have changed that for him having a normal childhood, and two loving parents as
I think he would have been going off to college not to an adult state prison.

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