Dear husband, hope you having a good day. First, I will start by apologizing of saying anything disrespectful towards you.. I tell myself over and over again to be a respectful wife to you even when I know you are pushing my bottoms. B-cuz in the end, the outcomes of it only hunts me. That being said, I don’t want to argue about the number one evil thng on this earth{money}. You can send my family whatever you think is fair for us to afford at this time, if you know best. I was only doing money math not for only his burial but for the  family he left behind too, since he was the one who was supporting them. Honestly I wasn’t trying to argue. But as I told you before,i came to realize we can not have a decent conversations without arguing.  I’m sorry if you felt like I am forcing you to give me something you don’t have nor you can afford. We are two adult that needs to consult with one another when it comes to matters like this and some. You always told me to think before talking. Which is true and iam learning as I go. And for that I thank you. Unfortunately, I wish you could recognize your wrongs and take advices when I do point them out to you.. today’s lil foil was not about the money. Instead acknowledging the situation about the founds. working out the pros and cons of what we can give. you instead made the whole conversation about yourself. which I really didnt appreciate.. tell me we can’t afford to support, tell me there’s other ways we can help, tell me you dont want to do it. tell me something even knowledge me to the degree.  instead of telling me what I can’t and won’t do.. pointing fingers and catching feelings before we could even solve a problem doesn’t help any of us. It’s not about you or me. It’s about what we can do together if we could only have a normal decent conversations. And again, I wasn’t trying to disrespect you by asking “why not” when asking Elly for the money came up. Regardless how it came out of my mouth, it doesn’t mean that I was malicious about it. I was actually eager to know the answer. You jumped to the conclusion, always thinking for me like I don’t have mind of my own.  I don’t like when you undermine me. I think about what I’m doing and when I come to you about it. is because my husband opinions matters to me but sometimes your misguided.everything that comes out your mouth is negative. We’ll always agree to disagree but you wanting your way about everything doesn’t fly easily with me.    I need you to know this. (Whether you knowledge it or not is highly up to you). I was taught to always be the bigger person when it comes to those who wrongs you . I always let them win and  I always forgive them. And when I am at wrong it might take me while lingering in the back of my mind  but I correct it.   Which brings the reason why I fight  with you now about everything because you ignore to at least acknowledge the problems. you just fight me back over and over.I just let you win and after so many i am forced to be an ugly person that I don’t want to be. I disrespect you and after that I come to you saying sorry. And try to clear the air.  I understand you have an ego bigger than your head but I don’t think you see how much sin your causing me.if you don’t care to know how we should work, I don’t know how long I’m going to forgive. Without boundaries and foundations. There won’t be respect.. you thinking your the superior and I don’t matter, b-cuz in my eyes that’s how I see it. I’m the wife and I should just do what I  am told.    If we are  talking about Religiously, which you always bring up and you think you going by. Your suppose to be the perfect example of  respect,honor,change,love,family. And if you can’t be neither of those don’t expect me to always listen to you when you don’t. It’s exactly why we always say “why should I listen to you when you don’t”. In the end we both helpless. We are human and we’ll always make mistakes and argue and disagree but we also are not robots.If you and I know what’s best for this family than we should know what’s best for us too. I wasn’t mad this morning and I am not mad now. I just hate the fact that how we can turn lil issues to big problems and that’s just our biggest problem.